Updated: Aug 7
I have had several people help me against abusers during my lifetime. There are three that readily come to mind.
Even though my mother never really liked me and at times I felt she didn't even loved me, she was the first I remember standing up for my rights against a particular abuser. I was an object of her responsibility and she took her responsibilities seriously.
I had a third grade teacher that had studied in the US and considered herself "hot stuff." She also had a ruler she used to spank her students with. I have always bruised easily, too bad for her! I did not tell my parents that she had used the ruler on me, but they saw the large dark welt across my bottom.
My Mother: My mother took me to school the next day and asked the teacher to step outside the classroom. When my mother got through with her, the teacher had to take a break from class. I remembered that as my first "got you back" to an abuser. Her color had changed, her shoulders had sunk forward, and she was stammering. How does it feel to have the tables reversed?
People who hit children have serious issues. Innocence makes the little ones trust their caretaker. To have that innocence violated through the use of pain is disgusting! Those children learn early to mistrust. This mistrust is carried through life. Many grow up to emulate the abuses perpetrated upon them. Why would anyone want to cause pain to someone so beautiful and pure? Pick on someone your own size and see if they beat you back!
My father: My father tried to stand up for me once, but failed. The new Cuban government was very "vocal" about racism. Not that racism really existed until they brought it up, considering that at least half the population was of African descent. Anyway, a black girl beat the crap out of me on the way home from school, five days in a row. My dad complained to the girl's mother. The mother told him she was going to denounce him to the government for being a racist.
It had nothing to do with racism, it had all to do with the fact the girl was twice my size and five years older! She could have been of any color or race, but the beatings were real. We are all the same. We are all people. Some of us, just happen to be worse than others.
My dad — who was at the time hiding from the "new government” — was unable to protect me from further beatings until he started to walk me to and from school every day. I felt so bad for him. The abuser had gotten us both. I do remember that at least he tried and I love him for it until this day.
A third Angel who comes to mind is the attorney who helped me with my divorce. She passed away a few months ago. Her name was Janis Jasmine. My "divorce from hell" lasted two and one half years.
My ex-husband was bent on destroying me. He hired attorneys that were abusive and basically sociopaths. One in particular started to scream and point at me in front of my attorney (he later died of a stroke.) She took me by the arm and had me stand behind her. She pointed at the evil attorney while saying, "Don't you ever talk to or point towards my client that way." He could not believe it. God I love her for it!
This was my first lesson in adult life against abuse... you do not have to take it! It started to open my eyes to what abuse was and how I could not only help myself but others. I have done some work, but it is never finished. Shit, I can still get abused in my own kitchen!
If you are being abused, think you are being abused or think you are the abuser, do something about getting help. You can change your life and that of your family towards the positive. There are so many organizations that will help you (most listed in the back of my book "For the Love of Benjamine").
There have been numerous other angels in my life. So many I cannot mention here. I have told you who you are. I am so thankful to everyone of you.
There is no excuse for not living life abuse-free. We are here for so short a time; make the best out of creating good vibes.