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  • Writer's pictureMarta May

Cycle of Violence

The cycle of violence can also be called the cycle of abuse. It escalates over time. As a relationship, it starts in what is referred to as:

1) "The Honeymoon/Make-Up Period." The abuser may apologize, act lovingly or friendly, or bring presents such as chocolates or flowers. It can last from hours to weeks but it usually gets shorter or it disappears over time.

2) The next phase is "Tension Building" The Abuser starts getting "moody." The victims feel like they are walking on egg shells. It also gets shorter over time.

3) The next Phase is "The Explosion." This is when an incident of abuse occurs...(physical, sexual or emotional) It usually begins as verbal abuse or intimidation, becoming more intense and more frequent over time. Never be in close quarters with your abuser if this phase is eminent. Always have an escape rout! Have your important documents packed and ready to go!

Then back to the apology, the brownies or the gifts!

It all depends on what the abuser is feeling moment to moment. Their back ground, their upbringing, their relationships in or outside of work. When the abuser finds themselves unhappy, any thing or any one can trigger an outburst. The results can be vicious.

The difference between healthy (based on equality) or unhealthy, is Power and Control!


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